Remembering...

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

It has been a little over 2 years since my pregnancy loss and I joined the club that no woman ever wants to be a part of. In many ways, a distant memory...and yet, the emotions are sometimes still so fresh and real. I will never forget.

I will never forget the surprise of seeing 2 lines on a test in August 2007.

I will never forget the immense joy of a completely natural pregnancy even it meant I would have babies 13 months apart.

I will never forget the sound of that rapid heartbeat and the bright flash on the screen at 6 weeks.

I will never forget the way my heart dropped at the sight of blood at 9 weeks.

I will never forget the sight of a still dead baby on the ultrasound screen.

I will never forget the face of my doctor telling me it was over.

I will never forget the complete emptiness after waking up from a D & C

I will never forget the pain and grief that followed for many months.

I will never forget the community of believers coming alongside me.

I will never forget the nearness of my God as He carried me through.

"All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness." Psalm 25:10

Today, I am grieving and praying with all of those who have experienced loss that we would be able to truly trust in the promise above whether it's in the small skinned knee type of suffering or the big loss of a baby suffering. I have several friends who have recently experienced a miscarriage so I have been burdened recently for them as their grief is so new. I am so grateful for a faith in the only One who can provide comfort, peace, and hope when things are hard. I can't imagine suffering without Jesus.

You can go HERE, HERE, and HERE to read more thoughts about my miscarriage.