The Journey to Our Family

I've had the privilege of talking with so many women over the past few years about my infertility, adoption, and most recently my pregnancy loss. I am thankful that the Lord can use our story to somehow encourage others. I am always willing to share our journey and talk about the things that led us to where we are now. As I am getting older :) and a little more removed from our original TTC (trying to conceive) days, I am starting to forget some of the specifics. I wanted to go ahead and write down the timeline of our family that has been in the making for over 5 years now. Most of you probably won't read through the whole thing and that's okay because it is long, but for those of you in your own TTC journey I pray this gives you hope and information. I know when we were trying to get pregnant I just wanted to read anything and everything about it!

• August 2001 - Jeff and Rachel get married:)
• December 2002 - get off the pill
• March 2003 - start actively trying to get pregnant (this goes on for 11 months and nothing happens)
• February 2004 - annual exam...talk with OBGYN about not getting pregnant. She orders semen analyis for Jeff...all checks out normal according to her.
• March 2004 - start clomid to regulate my slightly irregular cycle (6 months and still nothing) August 2004 - see new OBGYN because we move to new town
• August 2004 - HSG to check tubes...all looks good!
• September 2004- IUI #1 - failed
• October 2004 - IUI #2 - failed
• November 2004 - IUI #3 - failed
• December 2004 - IUI #4 - failed
• December 2004 - nearly 2 years of TTC...start looking into adoption. Talk with Lifeline Children's Services about their domestic and international programs
• January 2005 - move on to Reproductive Endocrinologist (fertility specialist) in Atlanta...do bloodwork...all comes out normal. Ultrasound on ovaries shows some chocolate endometriomas (cysts) that could indicate endometriosis.
• February 2005 - IUI #5 with 150 mg of Clomid...at time of IUI do another semen analysis on Jeff
• Early March 2005 - failed IUI...talk with RE about results on Jeff's analysis. The results are grim...only 1% normal morphology (this is the shape of the sperm). RE recommends we move on to IVF (in vitro fertilization) as he thinks that is our best option as they can actually pick out the few good sperm to fertilize my egg(s).

• End of March 2005 - decide to adopt from Ukraine! We talk about possibly doing IVF in the future but timing is not right at this time. Feel much confirmation from the Lord about this decision.
• April - October 2005 - adoption paperwork, paperchase, and waiting....very stressful but very exciting to know we are closer to having a child! During this time we do not prevent pregnancy.
• December 2005 - come home with precious Samuel...what an answer to prayer!!!!

• April 2006 - with a huge tax refund (from the adoption tax credit) in hand, we decide to try In Vitro Fertilization. It has now been 3 years and no pregnancy so we decide this is our only option at having a biological child. Again, we felt much confirmation from the Lord and decide before hand that we would not destroy any embryos during the process.
• May 2006 - start birth control pills to shut down my reproductive system. Get an ultrasound to make sure all is quiet.
• Early June 2006 - start injectibles to stimulate my ovaries to produce an ungodly amount of eggs. 2 shots in the AM and 2 shots in the PM and ultrasounds galore to check my ovaries for growth.
• June 15 2006 - trigger shot to mature eggs
• June 16 - egg retrieval in Atlanta at my clinic...we got 14 eggs! Start progesterone shots (these are huge shots and not fun at all...but totally worth it of course)
• June 17 - 10 eggs fertilized through ICSI (basically they get the good sperm and inject it straight into the egg)
• June 19 - Embryo Transfer...we transfer 2 beautiful embryos into my uterus...I got to watch through ultrasound! Very cool. No other embryos continued to grow except these 2 after the initial fertilization.
• June 28 2006 - positive HPT (home pregnancy test)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I took one each day until my beta hcg test at my clinic and they all continued to be positive
• July 2, 2006 - positive BETA of 384!!!! I'm finally very pregnant!!!
• July 14, 2006 - first ultrasound shows a healthy growing baby! Must continue progesterone shots until 8 weeks and then move on to suppositories until 2nd trimester begins.
• February 23, 2007 - our 2nd miracle, Elizabeth Kate, arrives weighing 7 lbs 7 ounces!!!!

• August 5, 2007 - a very big surprise...positive HPT...WHAT!!!! Our very first naturally occurring spontaneous pregnancy...how did this happen?
• August 23- ultrasound shows a healthy growing baby! We see and hear heartbeat.
• September 12 - start spotting at 9 weeks 2 days
• September 14 - ultrasound confirms our baby stopped growing at around 8 weeks so this is considered a missed miscarriage
• September 15, 2007 - At 9 weeks 5 days, I had a D&C at the hospital for the OB to clean out my uterus so I didn't have to miscarry naturally at home.
• October 2007 - OB thinks we can get pregnant again. Jeff sees a local urologist in town for a new semen analysis. Shows his numbers have increased to a somewhat normal level!

• March 14, 2008 - another miracle...positive HPT!!! Did this really happen again? We are guardedly excited
• March 23 - ultrasound shows a healthy growing baby
• April 15 - ultrasound #2 shows baby is continuing to grow
• April 29 - we hear the baby's heartbeat via doppler at 11 weeks...we have made it past the point of our last loss! Still guardedly excited and trusting in the Lord's sovereign plan.

Edited to Add:

• November 6, 2008 - Our precious 4th miracle arrives...Abigail Marie was 8 lbs 3 ounces and 20 1/2 inches long!
• January 19, 2012 brought another miracle into our family with the birth of Anna Mitchell who was 8 lbs and 20 inches longs.  Her life was a big surprise to us and seems to have completed our family!  Years ago, I would have never imagined the full girth of this journey.  I have just about experienced any and every path to having a child:)....infertility, IVF, adoption, natural pregnancy, and a surprise pregnancy!

Random Request

Hey blog readers! Hope everyone is having a great Memorial Day! We are continuing to enjoy our time at the beach but we miss our friends at home too!

I have a random request for those of you who link our blog from your own. We changed to this blog so that it would be a little more generic and not use our last name...just for security reasons. You never can be too safe with all the internet craziness. So, in light of that, would you change the link to either say the name of our blog (Moments With My Miracles) or just to "Jeff and Rachel". I'm sorry to be so picky but if y'all have our last name on your blog linked to ours then it kind of defeats the purpose of our blog not having our last name anywhere:). I hope that makes sense and thanks in advance!

15 Months Old!

This cute little girl is growing up! Seriously, I can't believe how fast she is becoming a true toddler. She is so much fun and we are really enjoying seeing her grow and learn so many new things. Our little princess has quite the personality and is always on the go. Some of her favorite things right now are playing outside, balls, reading books and just following Samuel around. She also loves shoes! It's really funny. Ellie Kate also loves babies. There are 3 babies with on us project and she is absolutely fascinated by them. It is amazing the things she is learning. Her vocabulary is really starting to expand and she can even put a few words together. She can say bath, eyes, bye-bye, daddy, ball, night night, please, no, uh-oh, thank you, bow, doggie, truck, and baby. She can point to her eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and belly button when asked and she especially likes to point to everyone else's eyes and nose! She still has just 8 teeth and no sign of anymore. I am dreading molars! Ellie Kate also loves to give kisses and hugs especially to other children. We definitely have a little extrovert on our hands. We are so thankful for our energetic Ellie Kate!

More Beach

These pics are from the days we spent with Jeff's family last week. It was so fun to spend time with them! They had not seen us since February so they were ready for some good time with the grandkids. Ellie Kate and Samuel both were obsessed with their dog Lucy. We ate out a lot and spent more time in the sun! Aunt Jenny was there too and then Uncle Buddy came the last night where he treated us to an amazing dinner at the Fish House in Pensacola. We are so grateful for the wonderful family time that we were blessed to have last week!

Now, we are in full swing at Greek Summit. Students are here and we are settling into our house here in Destin. It is always fun to be around the students and Samuel has already found his favorite guys to bug. Actually the guys here are so great with him and the girls as well. Our kids never lack for attention when we are around college students!

"Australia"

One of my friends shared the "story" below by an anonymous author. I thought it was really cool. Like I have said before my journey to have children has not been one I would have chosen 5 years ago when we started it...because it has been long, difficult, expensive, sad, and very unexpected. However, I wouldn't change a thing because it has also been one of joy and many miracles. The Lord called us on a different type of journey than a lot of other people, but He has given us incredible joy in the way He has provided in the ups and downs of adding to our family! I'm really blessed to have been able to experience pretty much every facet of having a family...adoption, infertility, in vitro fertilization, pregnancy loss, and finally a spontaneous natural pregnancy!

Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it's a wonderful place. You've read many guidebooks and feel certain you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you look forward to being pampered on the trip.

So you go the the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you, you'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait, and wait, and wait.

Flights to Australia come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax, You'll get on a flight soon.: Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!"

After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat."

"By boat!", you say, "Going by boat will take a very long time and costs a great deal of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane." So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than by air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat.

It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three times, marveling about each trip.

Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during the voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather than by air.

People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are able to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, "Oh be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible, traveling by sea is so easy." You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty is not in the way you get there but in the place itself.

Happy Mother's Day!

I am so thankful and proud to be a mom to my miracles (all 4 of them)! Years ago, I dreaded this day. It was bittersweet seeing the mom's be recognized at Church because I sooooo wanted to be able to stand up. Now in the 3 years that I have been a mom...I haven't even been at Church on Mother's Day. Go figure. The first year we were on summer project, last year I had just had my gallbladder surgery, and this year...we are again on summer project and just didn't make it to a church here. Today, I have been burdened for the women who long to be mothers. I know it's not an easy day. I have prayed for them that the Lord would give peace and comfort and strength to continue to trust in His timing. I have several friends and acquaintances who are still waiting. I ache for them today. I pray that you will be celebrating soon!

Jeff made it a special day for me. He got up with the kids and let me sleep in a little (8:30) - although I did have to get up for a quick trip to the bathroom sink thanks to this latest miracle. They went to Panera and got my favorite bagel with cream cheese and coffee (decaf of course) and then brought it to me in bed. Samuel drew a really cute picture of our family on his card. It had Ellie Kate, Samuel, Daddy, Mama and an egg. Not real sure about the egg...and he couldn't explain it either. Then we also went out for lunch before we had to be back for afternoon meetings.

I love being a mom. It definitely has it's moments of frustration, anger, exhaustion, questions, helplessness, etc., but I am so thankful I have been able to experience one of my deepest longings. It is hard for me to believe that I will hopefully have 3 children in November. Just a little over 3 years ago I didn't know if I would ever be a mom. I love seeing Samuel and Ellie Kate grow and change and I cannot wait to see how the Lord continues to develop them into the people He wants them to be. I cannot wait to meet the little one growing inside of me. I still don't feel completely connected to this pregnancy. I keep waiting for something bad to happen. It is a daily struggle to completely bring my fears to Jesus. Now that I have almost made it to the 2nd trimester I am beginning to hope and believe this might really be happening...by God's grace and mercy.

I am also so thankful for the many women God has put in my life...especially my mom. I don't tell her enough how grateful I am for the example and inspiration she has been to me as my mother. She has such a servant's heart and gives up much of herself for her children. I struggle so much to die to myself as a mom so I am proud to say that I had a great example of what that looks like and can only hope and pray that I can be to my kids what she has been to me (and my brother). She is an amazing grandmother too! I also have a very sweet mother in law who gives a lot of herself to her family. Jeff and I are so blessed to have been raised by such Godly women! Our children are blessed to have such wonderful women in their lives from their 2 grandmothers to their 3 great-grandmothers!

Happy Mother's Day!!!

A Few More Pics

Our attempt at the typical white and khaki beach pics. Jeff loves when we do this:) (can you hear my sarcasm)! We will probably "get" to do some more with Jeff's family! I do love how these turned out even if by the end Ellie Kate was having a meltdown. Sorry for the overload of pictures!

Beach Pics...Round 1

We have been enjoying our vacation so much! It has been great to spend time with my family, and Jeff's family is coming in tomorrow so I'm sure there will be many more pics later this week!

Ellie Kate in the pool

Uncle Ryan with Ellie Kate

Samuel in the pool

Samuel swimming in the hot tub with no swimmies!

My handsome boy!

My beautiful girl!

Soon to be "Aunt" Erin with Ellie Kate
Ellie Kate with Nana and Woody (Samuel was too busy to get in the pic)

The fam

Samuel's Last Day of School

Sadly, today was Samuel's last day at preschool since we are leaving for vacation and our summer project tomorrow. He would have gone about 2 more weeks if we were staying in town. He had such a good year and I am so thankful for his little school and his sweet teachers Miss Shannon and Miss Erin. Samuel grew and learned so much this year. He has come such a long way! I am proud of how much he has accomplished and yet we still have a long way to go. When I think about him going to Kindergarten next year I get a little overwhelmed because I am not sure he is quite ready. We will be working hard this summer and continuing to learn our letters and numbers which is the area of biggest delay right now.

He was a little sad to leave his class today and said he would miss his friends! I'm pretty confident he will quickly forget once we arrive at the beach!

Baby Update

I had a OB appointment on Tuesday and we got to hear the baby's heartbeat on the doppler machine! It was such a wonderful sound. I am now 11 weeks and almost through the "danger period" which would be the first trimester. I am beginning to feel a little less nervous but I do think that I just know too much and have seen too much happen to other women for me to just sail through a pregnancy with no worries. I am thinking of renting one of these for peace of mind between appointments. If I'm feeling nervous, I can just pull out the rented doppler and find my baby's heartbeat! The nurse found it right away on Tuesday and I paid careful attention to where she put the probe so hopefully I could find it too!

I am feeling a little better with the nausea. I haven't been quite as sick as I was with Ellie Kate so that has been nice. I am trying to relax and enjoy every minute, by God's grace...I know this little life is so precious and such a miracle. I don't know if I have truly wrapped my mind and heart around what God has done. I am so thankful for this time and the 11 weeks He has given me!