Its 12 am and I'm up because I can't sleep. I'm afraid to got to bed and be truly alone with my thoughts and tears. I'm heartbroken for my sweet college friend who just lost her baby yesterday at 14 weeks. I'm heartbroken for another friend from our small group at church who lost her baby at 9 weeks over the weekend. I'm heartbroken for a friend who is struggling through infertility. I'm heartbroken for a friend and co-laborer here at UGA who is currently on strict bedrest 9 hours away from home until her baby (who possibly has cystic fibrosis) is born in about 8 weeks. I'm wresting with the Lord and His goodness. I hold on to the mustard seed that is way down deep somewhere in my soul...the seed that tells me that God is indeed good and He is a Loving Father in my own recent loss. He is also the Loving Father of the above mentioned friends. He is the Father who experienced His own loss as He sent His son to suffer on the Cross for our behalf. The seed of faith tells me that He is weaving a tapestry of all these things for an eternal glory that I won't probably understand this side of heaven. But I still wrestle. I still ache. I want the glory and beauty and perfectness of Heaven now. I ache for my Savior....I want to be in His presence and yet He feels so far away. And so I'm limping along to bed and praying tomorrow brings some peace for myself and my sweet friends, and that in the midst of this holiday season we will be reminded to keep our eyes on the One who came so many years ago so that in this imperfect world there would be true hope.
"I am the Light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12
"I am the Light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12
