Waiting on the Lord

I had an unexpectedly quiet Sunday morning today.  Abigail was up in the middle of the night a lot with a fever and just a very unhappy little girl.  I don't know what was going on, but her fever was gone by this morning although she still seemed to be feeling a bit off.  In any case, Jeff took the big 2 to sunday school and church with him while I stayed back with Abs. 

 

 During her nap, I enjoyed a few cups of coffee and my favorite devotional book...

Jesus Calling is an awesome little book that is written kind of like Jesus is talking to us.  I really love it and always come away refreshed and feeling like I really heard from the Lord.  Here is some of what I read today...

Waiting on ME means directing your attention to me in hopeful anticipation of what I will do.  It entails trusting me with every fiber of your being, instead of trying to figure things out yourself.  Waiting on me is the way I designed you to live: all day, every day.  I created you to stay conscious of me as you go about your daily duties.  I have promised many blessings to those who wait on me; renewed strength, living above one's circumstances, resurgence of hope, awareness of my continual presence.  Waiting on me enables you to glorify me by living in deep dependence on me, ready to do my will.  It also helps you to enjoy me; in my presence is fullness of joy.  

Then I read Lamentations 3.  I was really convicted of how little I truly wait on the Lord...not just during difficult circumstances...but every moment of every day.  I realized that I live a lot of my days just trying to survive.  I also live a lot of days waiting for the bottom to drop out.  I definitely have more of a melancholy personality so I tend to believe the worst and/or get down easily.  Reading blogs around the internet doesn't help either sometimes.  I just get down about how much sickness and sin is around me.   I can't understand why babies die, or why marriages fall apart, or why couples struggle to have children.  It all hurts and I honestly wonder when my time will come.  Instead of living in dependence and in communion with the Lord, I live in fear of the unknown.  Right now, life is pretty darn good.  I have 3 healthy children...a nice house...a wonderful husband and great family and friends.  I don't want any of it to be taken away...and yet living in fear and worry will just eat away at my soul.  I can't live like that.  I pray that I would learn to truly wait on the Lord and be conscious of Him in every moment.  I want to have a peaceful quiet spirit throughout my days. 

"'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will put my hope in Him.'  The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.  

Who has spoken and it came to pass, unless the Lord has commanded it?  Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that good and bad come? 

Let us lift up our hearts and hands to God in heaven!"  

Lamentations 3: 24-25, 37-38, 41