So we've been official residents of Alabama now for one month. I even got my shiny new Alabama state driver's license this morning. Just what I wanted to do at 7 months pregnant (my Georgia one expired next week on my birthday)! For some reason, even though I am doing pretty good on my weight gain my face is already swollen and my nose is even bigger. YIKES! Suffice it to say, this is not a driver's license picture that I will be showing off! So this morning was one more step towards the reality that Georgia is no longer my home. People keep asking how the transition has been going and how Alabama is, and for the most part I've been answering the token "pretty good." And that has been true until this week. I think I'm finally really beginning to grieve the loss of a place I really loved, as well as friends and family I miss dearly. Add to that the aches and pains of pregnancy along with lovely hormones and sometimes out of control children...it has not been pretty. I'm overwhelmed with all the newness...
New doctors. New home. New school for Samuel. New church. New friends to get to know. New ministry. New town. New reality of not seeing my parents that much. New baby to prepare for.
I used to think I liked change...but I'm realizing it was in the little things like changing decor in my home, rearranging furniture, new seasons, new wardrobes, etc. All this change and newness has caught up with me one month in and I'm not exactly digging it! I'm having to start over with so many new relationships and that is something that does not come easily to me. I love people and cherish friendships...it just seems harder to get close ones the older you get. In Athens, I had friends I could be vulnerable with and who knew me pretty well. I had a doctor I totally trusted and loved and who also knew me really well. We had history, ya know? I also had my parents 50 minutes away. Now, I'm just overwhelmed at having to start over. However, I really am thankful for the way that the Lord has provided many new opportunities to meet other women my age and people in the community who have made us feel so welcome. It really has been a blessing to already have some natural friendships here. I am hopeful that I will one day like (love might be a strong word at this point) Tuscaloosa nearly as much as I loved Athens. I am hopeful that I will have friends who truly know me and a doctor I truly love. I know it's going to take time and I know from the past that times of pain and heartache will eventually bring me great joy.
Would we know that the major chords were sweet,
If there was no minor key?
Would the painter's work be fair to our eyes,
Without shade on land or sea?
Would we know the meaning of happiness,
Would we feel that the day was bright.
If we'd never know what it was to grieve,
Nor gazed on the dark of night?
"All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness." Psalm 25:10
12 comments:
Wow, you are going thru a lot! If I lived closer I would come and give you and your belly a big hug! Hang in there, in no time you will have tons of friends and things to do! It will help to meet people with Samuel in school! hugs!
This is a lot to process in such a short time. But I'll pray that with time, Tuscaloosa will feel like home.
I've also moved a lot since college and every time we move, I always wonder how long we'll stay there. It gets so much harder each time to make new friends. Where we live now is the longest place we've ever stayed put in. But I know that in a year, with Cole going back to school, we'll have to move and start all over again. I can already feel myself starting to grieve.
I hear you -- change is tough. Hang in there. We still need to get you hooked up with our friends who relocated to Tuscaloosa last month.
Oh Rachel - I felt the same way twice in my life - first coming the U of A - I had virtually no close friends and it was a hard first year - thankfully CCC provided some close friendships, then again when I got married and all my friends that I had made in college graduated and moved away from T-town, I was still here and in a new SS class and making all new "married" friends. We have GOT to get together soon - What are your Sunday nights like? Email me and let me know if ya'll could get together this Sunday, we sometimes go to church on Sunday nights, but not always. Love you! hope things get better!
Hey Rach! I'm sorry it's been a hard week for you and that the transition is setting in so hard right now. I'm confident you will make meaningful friendships and connect easily with some amazing women. You are a dear friend to have!!
We will be praying for you guys as you start this new ministry. I know how hard it is to adjust to a whole new world! I know God will provide a support system there as well. You are in our thoughts & prayers.
PS-When are we going to name new baby girl?
Don't know where the "amp" above came from! Ha!
Oh Rachel, I am so sorry you are having some of these feelings. I wish there was something I could do, but I know that time is the only thing that can help you (not to mention, having this baby and getting your hormones back to normal). Please call me!!!! You know I am right around the corner and can be there quickly (or you can come to our house)! I can't imagine doing what you're doing - moving, pregnant, new friends, Samuel starting school, etc, etc. - you are so brave and such a good mom and wife! Again, please call me - we all get caught up in our daily life and forget that there are new neighbors trying to adjust to a new life~~
rachel - I wish I was closer too, I would come over with Kim and hug you too!!! Love all the new pics and LOVE the new look of the blog. Your friend is very talented!
It is tough moving to a new place!We moved from Maryland to Georgia when Nathan was 4 months old, I felt like I was "uprooting" him, and cried the whole way here!! But we met friends, and now love it! Although I still miss Maryland...a lot!!
When we were in the Tuscaloosa area, I had a wonderful ob/gyn, I think his name was Dr. Steven Madden, he was at the big DCH hospital. I'm not sure if he's still there, but I loved the practice and he was great!
Good luck!!
i am so glad to hear that you miss us :) but will be praying for peace to fill you up..and give you joy in your new place, too!
i love the real honest blogs, rach!!! they make me feel normal :)
i keep praying for you!
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