I've felt some pretty deep tension the past few weeks as I've watched news story after news story break. Josh Duggar sexual abuse. Police brutality. Racism. Charleston shootings. Confederate Flag controversy. Shaming the southern states. Same Sex Marriage ruling. Every one of these stories tugs at different places in my heart. I've had to face some of my own fears and insecurities and privilege. My heart is torn between wanting to defend and protect, and weep and confess. On top of that, there are personal stories of friends hurting. Turmoil is all around us. Today seemed to be the icing on the cake of chaos on Facebook and Twitter. The supreme court came down with it's verdict on same sex marriage and made it legal throughout the land, no matter what individual states have voted on. No matter that since the creation of this world, we have had one definition of marriage. However, I loved seeing my FB feed today. I have a diverse realm of friends and a lot of them celebrated today. And then I had a lot of friends mad and angry and sad. I admit, when I first read the ruling, I got emotional. As a mom, I wondered what world am I bringing my kids up in? Mass shootings. Sexual abuse. Racism abounds. Bible believing followers of Christ labeled bigots. Marriage redefined. I could see myself getting wound up in the tailspin of emotion. I quickly turned to the Word. It is the only truth that stands to fill my mind with praiseworthy and wonderful things. I didn't want to dwell on things that make my heart anxious. So I typed in "throne" on my Bible app and read all the verses that reminded me of God's sovereignty. Of the truth that He alone is ruler and He sits on His throne no matter what. It comforted my soul and calmed my anxious heart. So I shared it on Facebook.
But LORD, you remain the same forever!
Your throne continues from generation to generation.
Lamentations 5:19
Not too much later, as I scrolled through FB again, I noticed the status update of a student who was on a summer project with us a few years ago. He condemned his conservative Christian friends for "passively aggressively" posting Bible verses in response to today's ruling. It stopped me in my tracks. I immediately felt defensive. But then I quieted my heart again and asked myself was I being passive aggressive in posting that? I've been pondering on it for the past few hours. I don't want to be passive aggressive and I honestly don't think that was my intention. I posted something that was good truth to me. Something that quieted my heart in a moment of turmoil after hearing news that I disagreed with and felt will surely change the landscape of our country. But if it seems passive aggressive to some to just post a verse rather than my stance, then I will say it here. Because of my faith in Christ and my belief that the Word of God is true, I definitely don't agree with same sex marriage. I'm not ashamed of that or my belief in Jesus. It also doesn't mean I don't love or don't want to be friends with people who think differently than me! In fact, I love having friends who think and believe differently than me. It challenges me! My strong belief also doesn't mean I can't love people who are homosexual. I don't speak about political things much because I just don't think it's worth it. I don't think my status on social media about what I believe is going to change anyone's mind. But maybe posting a verse will be a reminder for others to trust in the Lord! That was my intention. But I confess that I sometimes could be passive aggressive without even realizing it. I am flawed. I do mess up! I also confess I don't know how to love others perfectly. I confess I can sometimes be self-righteous. I confess that I don't always know how to engage with people I don't agree with or are different than me. I confess I don't really have any homosexual friends or African American friends. But I am learning. I am excited about the diverse neighborhood the Lord has placed us in outside of Atlanta. I am broken over the ways I may have not loved well. Ways I do not reach out to the marginalized and oppressed. Ways I tend to stick to being around people like me. Ways I have misrepresented the Jesus I love. I have given my life to serve Him and share Him with others. But I fail at that miserably every day!
I do pray for my own heart in all of this. I pray for this country I love. For my children. For my friends and neighbors. I pray that love truly does win. That we would ALL love one another. Even when we don't agree or understand the other's position. I agree with the hashtag that has been so popular today. #lovewins. I just may agree with it in a different light:). LOVE does win because the greatest expression of love the world has ever seen was when Jesus walked this earth and then gave His life up on a cross to bridge the gap between ourselves and a Holy God. Love wins because He defeated the grave. None of these crazy news stories changes that. None of the chaos of this world changes my mission as a follower of Him. My biggest prayer is that my life is an expression of His life and LOVE...the way He was on mission in the midst of the mess and calling people to His truth. He gave His life up sacrificially in love. It wasn't comfortable or easy. May I be ever so privileged to do the same.
"Live a life filled with love,
following the example of Christ.
He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us,
a pleasing aroma to God." Ephesians 5:2
1 comment:
Very well written, Rachel. I appreciate you putting yourself out there, even if it is passive aggressive. ;) None of this is easy,and prayer remains the only "answer" for me.
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