At the same time, I have struggled with trusting. Trusting despite fear. Trusting God's plan for this baby. Trusting even when I don't always feel the flutters. Trusting despite the anxious thoughts of something being wrong because I so desperately want this baby to be healthy and arrive on or before February 2.
And you know what, it's been exhausting. My mind has been a whirlwind of thoughts and it. never. stops. I hate it. I hate that I complain about being pregnant and I hate that at the same time, the fear of something being wrong or going wrong are crippling. It's a paradox that has left me broken and done.
But instead of coming to the only One who can calm my fears and give me joy, I go to Pinterest, or Facebook, or cleaning, or organizing, or tv. It leaves me empty and trying to do this life as a wife and mom in my own strength...which I don't do well. I need the Spirit and I need the Holy Word to guide me each and every day.
This morning, I sat down and read my favorite chapter in Philippians (4) and then read today's entry from Jesus Calling. It was just the words I needed from the Lord...
"TRUST ME in the midst of a messy day. Your inner calm - your Peace in my Presence - need not be shaken by what is going on around you. Though you live in this temporal world, your innermost being is rooted and grounded in eternity. When you start to feel stressed, detach yourself from the disturbances around you. Instead of desperately striving to maintain order and control in your little world, relax and remember that circumstances cannot touch My Peace. Seek My Face and I will share my mind with you, opening your eyes to things from My perspective. Do not let your heart be troubled, and do not be afraid. The Peace I give is sufficient for you."
Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His presence continually. Psalm 105:4
3 comments:
I have the same problem, but I am still in the phase of praying God will bless us with a healthy pregnancy and a healthy child. Praying God gives you peace and the ability to trust where he guides. ♥
yes, yes, and yes!
This was excellent timing for where I am right now with daily life with a newborn. Thank you for posting. You are not alone in your thoughts of complaining and then worrying. Give it all to Him!
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