Life Must Go On

Thanks to everyone for all the sweet comments and emails. We are overwhelmed at the support and encouragement we have received from the body of Christ during our loss. Physically, I am doing really well and feel pretty normal. I am thankful for that. Emotionally, I know it will take awhile. I find myself just wanting to go back...back to when everything was fine and I had 2 children and was happy with that. It has been a roller coaster of emotions and I know that with time it will get better. Right now, there is still pain and questioning and wishing that I had never gotten the surprise miracle pregnancy in the first place. Which brings me back to why my only hope is to trust in the One who knows and who loves me intimately...enough to send His only child to suffer on my behalf. I want to share with you what my sweet friend (who has also experienced pregnancy loss) relayed to me about what I missed at my women's bible study at church today (we are studying Genesis)..."We were talking about how God is very purposeful in who He is and how He created the world and all things. And It made me think... that God must have been thinking this way about your child (and mine) when He beautifully made them, gave them their little lives, and purposed them for heaven. And though I do not understand, nor like, nor believe, nor agree with His providence at times - this encouraged me that He is indeed working all things towards a purposeful end, and that today alone, we are called to hope in Him for a purposeful end ." And so, as I grieve and continue to wrestle with the Lord, I was reminded anew to put my hope in Him because He is God and He is working all things towards a purposeful end as we see in Genesis, which is just the beginning of His wonderful story of Redemption.

We have enjoyed the fall weather and spent some time outside which has been good for my heart. I love fall!!! Samuel loves to catch grasshoppers and Ellie Kate is the happiest baby who is changing and growing every day.