12 Weeks

So, Abigail is 12 weeks old! I can't believe how big she is getting. I just love her to pieces and so does the rest of the family. She is nursing well (which is fun for me because my milk ran out with EK around this time) and eats about 4-5 times a day. Abigail takes great naps and she is figuring out the whole nighttime sleep too (just a little slower than I would like). Last night was a really good night for both girls...I am thankful for everyone's prayers and encouragement after my post yesterday.

Y'all know I love to do this, so indulge me. Here is me at 3 months, Abs at 11 weeks, and Jeff at around 2 months. I just love to look at the similarities!

And here is Ellie Kate at around 12 weeks...

Running on Empty

I had a friend the other day ask if having 3 kids was fun. I guess it is fun...in a crazy, exhausting, chaotic kind of way. I love my kids, but lately I have been running on empty. I am at the end of my rope. I am so over not getting any sleep and it is making me a crazy person! Abigail continues to be a pretty easy and laid back baby. She is taking great naps during the day and had actually started sleeping 8 hour stretches at night...for about 3 nights. Now she wakes up....not to eat but because she has gotten her hands out of her swaddle. So frustrating! Ellie Kate has not slept good since we moved here in July. She used to be such a good sleeper so it has just baffled me. Her naps are sporadic (45 minutes one day...3 hours the next) and she wakes up at night almost every night or she wakes up at 5:45 am ready to go. A lot of this is because she cannot stay well. Right now she has another horrible cold/cough. Between the 2 girls...I am just giving up on getting any sleep anytime soon. I get very stressed when they don't sleep. Mostly because I can't control it. Also because I have always required a lot of sleep. I just don't function well on no sleep.

Add to that, Ellie Kate has entered full force into the wonderful world of terrible twos! She loves to yell "mine" about anything and everything and lately she has decided to hit me when she doesn't get her way. She also does not eat. Samuel is actually the easy one right now...although he most definitely has his moments too.

Thus...I am running on empty. I really need a day off. I am also guilty of living in the world of "if only." I am not relying on the Holy Spirit to empower me to love my kids and be patient in this stage of life. Jeff is a great husband to remind me that I am not believing the truth. I base my joy and happiness on my circumstances. So, here are some snippets of truth that I have read this morning in my attempt to get my focus back on the truth of the gospel.

From the devotional Jesus Calling:
"Instead of staring into the day that is ahead of you, attempting to program it according to your will, be attentive to Me and to all I have prepared for you. Thank Me for this day of life, recognizing that it is a precious, unrepeatable gift. Trust me that I am with you each moment, whether you sense My Presence or not. A thankful, trusting attitude helps you to see events in your life from My perspective."

From the book Whiter Than Snow...meditations on sin and mercy
"The world is a broken place and we have all been touched in many ways by it's brokenness. Yet, the "if only" lifestyle tends to say, 'my biggest problems in life exist outside of me and not inside of me.' It is only when you begin to accept that your greatest problem in all of life is not what has happened or been done to you that you begin to get excited about the rescuing grace of Jesus Christ. We are the biggest danger to ourselves. That is why God offers us the gorgeous promise of his grace which has the power to change us from the inside out."

From the Heidelberg Catechism
What do you understand by the providence of God?
God's providence is His almighty and ever present power, whereby, as with His hand, He still upholds heaven and earth and all creatures, and so governs them that leaf and blade, rain and drought, fruitful and barren years, food and drink, health and sickness, riches and poverty, indeed, all things come not by chance but by His fatherly hand.

From Jesus
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28

Fun at CHOM

CHOM is the Children's Hands On Museum here in town. It is so much fun!!! I actually used to take the girls I babysat for in college there many many years ago, so it was really cool to get to take my own family there on Saturday. The kids LOVED it!!! There was an old timey General Store, an old bank, a schoolhouse, Grandma's Attic, a hospital, an Indian Villiage, a Farm, a Beaver exhibit, a Japanase house, a boat with fishing pier, and much more!

Dirt Magnet

I saw this shirt and HAD to get it for Samuel! It says "Dirt Magnet" which could not describe him more perfectly!!! He wore it to school today since it was such pretty weather! He is now outside playing in the dirt! I did, however, make him take off the shirt before he got it dirty. Ha, Ha!!!

Deals

knock off robeez...$3.25 at Target today

I LOVE when Target puts things on clearance! I have scored some good deals there this week. I got Samuel an overnight bag for $6, a fleece pullover for $6, EK and Abigail matching dresses for $3 each, and a sleeper for Abs at $3. Also, I have gotten a TON of the kids spring/summer clothes at Gymboree while they are having their 60% off sale. I got EK and Samuel both swimsuits for $2.99, shorts for 3 bucks, tops for $2, and much more! I love thier clothes so I get excited when they have stuff on clearance! Last week, I got a great deal on Huggies diapers, wipes, and wash (I'm usually loyal to pampers dipes, but I do love huggies wipes and wash/lotion) at Rite Aid. I bought 2 jumbo packs for $16 (they were one sale plus I had coupons), 2 packs of wipes (needed these for EK's mother's morning out) for $7, and 2 tubs of wash and lotion for $7. After that, I got $6 in cash rebates plus a $10 gift card since I bought $25 worth of Kimberly-Clark items (who makes Huggies and other stuff). So I essentially got all of that for $14!!! Score!

Playtime

Yesterday, I was trying to let Abigail have some much needed floor playtime. I usually end up just putting her in the bouncy seat all the time. Ellie Kate had to be right in the middle of it all. She loves her baby sister, and as you can see from one of the pics...still doesn't quite understand how fragile she is. She kept wanting to lay on top of Abigail. The bottom right picture is Abs trying to roll over. She has gotten over onto her side, but has yet to complete the move yet. She is really growing so fast.

Fun With Friends

This past Monday since the daddies and the boys had the day off, we had a play date with the Akers family. Their boys, Hudson and Rowen, were also adopted from Ukraine and their parents, Ryan and Kelly, are two of our best friends! It was a great day and despite the cold, the boys played outside nearly the entire time. Ellie Kate hung in there right with them most of the time. She had no idea that she was so much younger and smaller than them!

A New Favorite...UPDATED

click HERE to order this cd from Perimeter Church

My mom got us this CD. It's for the kids but I love it as well! Eric Gilbert (who I think is a music leader at Perimeter Church in Atlanta) has made a music cd for kids to help them learn the catechisms (you know the questions that start with..."Who Made You?"). It's so cute and the kids are really loving it! We love the catechism questions and how they truly do teach kids the basics of the gospel. Samuel has learned some of them and he is really loving hearing them put to music. Ellie Kate's favorite song is one that talks about God being 3 persons (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) and then you count 1, 2, 3 really loud!!! It's so cute to hear her sing it out loud too.

Nightmare

You would think this would be about one of my kids...but nope it's about me. I had a full blown horrible nightmare last night! It was so awful and so real and probably revealed some fear/idols in my life about my children.

I dreamed I was at the mall with Samuel and Abigail (don't know where EK was but since I have never gone out with all 3 by myself this was fitting). Anyway, I was purchasing something at some store and when I turned around both Samuel and Abigail were gone. It was an awful feeling that I never want to feel in real life. The nightmare went on as I frantically searched for them to no end. I called Jeff freaking out, and called a friend (who I never see or talk to, but alas she was available in the dream - isn't that how it always is in dreams) who helped me look around the mall. I kept saying in the dream..."I am going to die if they are gone...I am literally going to die!" The police were no help and when I finally woke up, we still had not found them 24 hours later. I have never been more relieved to wake up from a dream. When I woke up, I felt very real pain and grief over what it must be like to literally lose a child/children. I hope and pray that I never have to go through something like that. As I lay in the dark thinking...I realized that I really would want to die to escape the pain if something were to happen to any of my kids. We are not guaranteed anything in this world and a very real fear of mine is that one of them will die at a young age. I'm not sure how one survives something like that...and yet I know personally several people who have lost children. I can't even imagine. Losing our unborn baby was hard enough. So laying there, I just prayed that the Lord would protect each precious life that lay sleeping peacefully while I still shook from the nightmare. I prayed that I would truly bring my fears to the foot of the cross and I prayed that I would hold each of my children with open hands...because they are not mine...but precious gifts from the Lord. He loves them more than me and He holds them close to His heart. I prayed that IF something were to happen in the future that I could trust Him...that I would cling to Him. Mostly I just asked that God keep them safe and surround them with His angels.

I don't know what brought on this dream. I know that it is always a struggle to trust the Lord and relinquish control to Him. I am reading a really sweet devotional, "Jesus Calling". It's written like Jesus is talking to me. I am enjoying it so much. I read in it this morning and thought what I read was fitting for me today as I work to shake the nightmare and bring my thoughts back to good and trustworthy things.

"I will not show you what is on the road ahead, but I will thoroughly equip you for the journey. My living Presence is your Companion each step of the way. Stay in continual communication with Me, whispering My Name whenever you need to redirect your thoughts. Thus, you can walk through this day with your focus on Me. My abiding Presence is the best road map available."

"And He said, 'My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."
Exodus 33:14

Big Girl!

2 month stats are...
weight: 12 lbs 7 ounces
height: 24 inches
both are 75%!!!

Abigail is wearing clothes that EK wore when she was 4 months old! These girls are so different already! I can't wait to see more of her personality evolve. As of now, she is very easy going and laid back. Abigail LOVES her rainforest bouncy seat. She can be entertained for about 30 minutes in that thing...smiling and cooing at it the entire time. It's fun to see her be able to play a bit by herself now and it makes my life much easier. Plus, she now requires no soothing to go to sleep! Abigail is such an easy baby (for the most part) and I am so thankful! And, she is pretty darn cute if I do say so myself. I could just eat her up!!!

Milestones...

• Samuel can read!!! It's slow and a little agonizing for this mama, but he is now bringing home short little books and is able to sound out words and read! It is amazing that he can do this. I cannot believe how far he has come since August!
  
• Ellie Kate is now recognizing letters...she can identify A, U, T, O, P, S, B, K, E, and I. Yesterday when she saw a STOP sign she yelled "P!!!!". It was so cute. She can now count to 12 easily. She is also learning her shapes pretty quickly too. I cannot believe she is going to be 2 in less than 2 months. Birthday party planning is well underway:).
  
• Abigail now goes to bed with the other children at 7:00 or 7:30. We have our nights back:)! She still isn't sleeping super long stretches at night (we are stuck at 5-6) so I am thinking we may have some "cry it out" coming in the future. That said, I only have to get up with her once per night so it's not too terribly bad.
  
• I am cooking dinners again most nights of the week but I have still not ventured out with all 3 on my own (and I've barely done it with EK and Abs). That still scares me!

As you can see, things are busy and the kids are growing and changing so quickly. Most days are still crazy around here and I look forward to the day I get to sleep through the night again. Life with 3 kids is full and such a blessing, but it makes for one tired mama (and daddy). Jeff has been awesome and I cannot imagine doing life without him. He is such a hands on dad and helps me out so much every day. He gets up with Samuel and gets him ready, fed, and out the door most mornings. And many afternoons, he is able to pick Samuel up and bring him home. It's so nice that we live so close to campus and that his job is so flexible. At night, he gives the older 2 baths and usually puts them to bed as I am pretty much always feeding Abigail at that time (it will be nice when I'm done nursing so we can switch that up). I am so thankful for a great husband and father to my kids.

The Bumbo

Last weekend we were able to go see Jeff's grandparents and celebrate a very late Christmas with them. We all had a great time and of course the kids got more presents! They got Abigail a bumbo seat which is awesome! I love those things. Abigail wasn't sure what to think about it. She just looked around wide eyed and then after a few minutes let me know she was done. Ellie Kate of course loved it!

Visit with Friends!

Noel Isaac (6 weeks) and Abigail (8 weeks)

While we were in Atlanta last week, I went down to visit my friend Julia and got to meet her newest Noel Isaac! Samuel stayed at my parents which is why he isn't in the picture. Maggie, her oldest is 4 months older than Ellie Kate so it was fun to see them interact and play together. Julia and I had fun catching up while the babies slept and ate. As you can see in the picture, Abigail is huge compared to Noel Isaac!!! She is growing so fast and already wearing her 3 month clothes. I'm so not used to this as EK grew a lot slower due to her horrible acid reflux. Anway, it was so fun to see Julia and the kids!

8 Weeks Old

Abigail is growing and changing so fast! She is just such a joy and is still mostly an easy baby. We have some fussy/unsettled time in the evenings and sometimes it is difficult to get her to bed before 11 pm but the last few days we have seen some improvement in that area. She is sleeping great though and usually gives me at least 5-6 hours straight most nights and we have even had some sporadic 7 and 8 hour stretches! I know it will only get better from here on out. Abigail is smiling and cooing so much. It is so sweet to hear those sweet little baby sounds and her smile will melt your heart.

More Christmas Pics...

These are from when we were with my family! We had a lot of fun and it was great to spend time with Ryan and Erin who we don't get to see much. Samuel was outside almost everyday which is what he loves to do when at my parents.

Aunt Erin painting EK's toes...they looked so pretty

my parents with the kids

My Aunt Susie with the girls

Samuel roasting marshmellows

splitting wood

Samuel having a talk with Uncle Ryan