In Which I am Real

I'm sitting in Barnes and Noble on a date with myself, a pumpkin spice latte (which I forgot to order in decaf so tonight's sleep should be interesting), my puter, and books.  Yes, I'm the dork who when given the gift of a night to herself goes to Target and then here:).  This is good for my soul especially after a particularly hard week emotionally for me.  No one thing triggered it, but I just have felt so beaten down and unable to keep up with the pace of my life.  Beaten down by the sin in this world and the trials that my friends and family are called to go through.  And yet I'm encouraged by sweet friendships, by a husband who leads and serves me so well.  By a ministry that is growing exponentially and seeing Jesus call people to himself!  By my amazingly beautiful children. They truly take my breath away.  By sweet students who love to come babysit my kids for free.  What?!!  I just don't deserve any of those good things!  And yet, there has just been a sense of despair in my soul. 

The other night I was trying to get everyone's dinner ready and it was just mass chaos as usual in our house.  I looked up briefly and just snapped a mental picture...the baby was crawling madly around my feet wanting to be picked up,  the big girls were to my left in the family room wreaking havoc, and Samuel was at the table trying to finish up homework with Jeff.  Inwardly I thought how the heck did we get here? HOW THE HECK DID WE GET HERE??

God is so gracious and so unbelievably good to us in fulfilling all the longings we had for children.  He sure has exceeded our expectations and I hope it goes without saying  that I am oh so grateful and overwhelmed at how abundantly He answered our prayers.  But, can I just be gut wrenchingly honest on here?  It's hard.  This life with 4 children makes me so needy.  I actually told Jeff this week that 3 children was manageable for me, but 4?  Four is SO unmanageable.  I feel so inadequate in raising them.  I feel so inadequate in being the wife and homemaker I want to be.  I feel so inadequate in taking care of my body and wanting so desperately to lose the weight from babies once and for all.  I feel so inadequate in parenting my chosen boy who struggles so to obey us.  I feel so inadequate in my relationship with God.  Get the picture? 

I can't do it all.  I know that, but my type A obsessively overachieving first born personality wants to do it all! I've seemingly always been able to do it all...and do it all pretty well.  But that is no more.  God is teaching me to let go and truly be able to rest in the chaos.  It's not always pretty but I am learning.  Learning to let the house go and enjoy my children a little more.  Learning to lay the phone down and put together puzzles for the upteenth time.  Learning to engage and listen and talk at bedtime instead of rush through so I can get downstairs by myself.   Learning my limits and saying "no" more.  Learning that God's grace is sufficient and I don't have to perform or get it right everyday.  I'm so thankful. 

So, sometimes I get on Jeff's twitter to read the quotes from some of my favorite pastors or theologians.  Maybe I'll join one day.  I'm getting closer to giving in.  But I digress...one of my favorites is Paul David Tripp.  There were several of his tweets recently that were written just for me I'm sure:). 

Where do you feel unprepared and unable? God's amazing grace is greater. 

Where do you feel weak and lacking in strength? God's amazing grace is greater. 

Yes, it really is "grace upon grace." Grace layered on grace layered on grace, etc...is your solitary eternal hope. 

You're not called to work for God's acceptance you're called to trust the One who completed that work on your behalf. 

You can rest in God's care. If he freely offered up his Son for you, will he forget you now? 

There's nothing to add to the work Christ did for you; not daily obedience, right theology, or willing ministry. His work is complete.

 

 

Ahhh, such great truth that I needed to be reminded of.  God's grace is enough, He cares, and His work in complete.  What great hope I have and my soul can truly be at rest because of those truths.  

A Few of My Favorite Things

I haven't done one of these in awhile so I thought I would share some of my current favorite things...

This is a limited time flavor for my kuerig and I am LOVING it! So far, I have only found it at Target.

These flip flops are by far my most favorite shoe ever for the past 3 years!  They are seriously the best shoes.  I buy a new pair every summer (because I wear them out in a year) and usually wear them in the winter a lot too around the house.  You can get them at zappos.com but if you are local to Tuscaloosa, I get them at Shoe Station.

I've mentioned these before but they are SO MUCH better than traditional bed rails for children who have transitioned from a crib to the big bed.  They are called bed bumpers and you can actually make up the bed with them:).  Also, they aren't too expensive which is a plus!

So this summer in Miami, I sort of renewed my passion for having fun nail polish on my toes and even my fingers from time to time.  I used to ALWAYS have my nails done...before Samuel.  I really like the Essie brand of nail polish. This is a new color I got the other day called Penny Talk and it's a great fall hue!

Ok, if you have children then I know you have all seen the annoying commercials for Dream Lights and I'm sure your children are just as mesmerized as mine were.  I'm also sure you can sing the tune in your sleep:).  This is as good marketing as I've ever seen.  Well, when we moved to our new house, the girls were having a very hard time going to sleep and staying in their beds at night.  So, I bribed them with getting a Dream Light and it was the best investment!  We love our Dream Lights and they truly do make bedtime much easier!  FYI, I think most Target and CVS stores carry them so you don't have to order online and pay shipping.

You may or may not have noticed that I have a slight obsession with all things burlap.  I just love it!  I recently found a store via Miss Mustard Seed burlapfabric.com.  Score!

8 Months Old!

{Anna Mitchell today you are 8 months old!}

I seriously cannot believe how fast this first year with you is going!  You are changing and growing so much these past few months. 

    Let me just say that you are an absolute delight and joy to our family.  You are so funny and are just developing the cutest little personality.  You are BUSY BUSY!  Seriously, you are into everything.  I can't keep my eye off you.  You love to find shoes and phones and small toy parts around the house much  more that your baby toys.        You are a very happy baby and really love to watch your siblings play and seem to love other people.  I know I've said this before, you remind me so much of your biggest sister Ellie Kate with that spirited personality:)!      Anna Mitchell, at 8 months you have two teeth, weigh about 17 lbs 6 oz, and are wearing 6 month clothes although you can wear some 9 month stuff.  I think you are pretty petite.  You have lots of dirty diapers so I hope nothing is wrong but that is not very pleasant. Ha!  It actually makes it hard to do our cloth diapers so we are taking a break on those until you become a little more regular.       You have been pulling up since right before 7 months.  Crazy girl.  Now you pull up on everything and are even cruising the furniture.  You also tried to climb the hardwood stairs yesterday but didn't have too much luck yet (although I'm sure in a few days you will figure it out). What in the world?? I think you are a little monkey and are so active!               I took 121 pictures of you today because you were cracking me up.  You love to be outside but you are usually in your stroller and I think I surprised you today by putting you on your blanket in the grass.  You were not a fan of the grass!   I love you little sweet pea.  You are the best little surprise that's ever happened to me!           Let's look at how you've grown...

Just Some Bullet Points

• Life is full and it's kicking our butts:)

• A few weeks ago I turned 34 and I feel every year (plus some).  Jeff's birthday is tomorrow and I'm pretty sure he would say the same.   That's not good but I fully blame it on the 4 wonderful but lively children we have.

• I'm really excited that fall is around the corner (I hope).  I thoroughly enjoyed some of our recent cool mornings.

• On that note, I couldn't resist a pot of orange mums from Lowes last weekend.  

• If you want to stay updated on mundane daily things in our life, you should follow me on instagram.  I update there a lot more than here these days.  You can also click on the instagram feed over on the right hand side of my blog to see pics. 

• I had my gallbladder taken out 5 years ago after I gave birth to EK.  Starting Sunday, I think I'm having gallbladder attacks again.  How weird is that?  It's awful and painful and frustrating.  I'm having an upper GI done tomorrow morning to rule out an ulcer or anything else they could find on that and then we'll go from there.  

• I really love my children and enjoyed playing with them this evening in our yard while Jeff was away working.  God is good to give me those sweet times because other times I want to wring their necks (just keeping it real).

• Ellie Kate started gymnastics last week and she loves it! She's also really good (I'm biased I know).

•  Most days my brain functions at about 50%.  Again, I fully blame that on the 4 little miracles I've been blessed with.  

• I love the bus.  Like really love the bus.  How did I survive 4 years of carpooling?  Thank you Lord for the yellow bus that helps make my life just a tad bit easier. 

• I need Jesus more than ever in this season of life.  So thankful He is strong when I am weak and that He carries my burdens.